Not My Business

 The Apartheid in South Africa has recently hit it's all time low this week, with numerous horrific beatings, kidnappings and disappearances each involving a Jeep.

  Since Saturday, Akanni Odu and Danladi Rion have been brutally abused and kidnapped. It is seemed that both men had been targeted because of their race and because they aren't the same as the minds behind the kidnappings. Odu was the first of the pair to be kidnapped from their family homes on Wednesday night and police reports have said he was "beat soft like clay, then stuffed into the Jeep." Family of Odu are distraught, saying "It's horrible how it only happened to him. Why him? Why not all of us? Will they come back for us?"

 Rion was another who was beaten and then stuffed into the Jeep this week. It seemed the kidnappers broke in at around 4am in the morning through Rion's open bedroom window, which his family claimed that he always left open so that they could get air. Rion's family told press that they were all awoken by the sounds of screams, but because of fear, none of them left their rooms until they were sure that everyone had left the home and the jeep had driven off. Both of these kidnappings have said to be linked, yet no one has been returned or found.

 The last of these events happened to Chinwe Chunga who was reported missing. A work friend spoke of the event, saying "Chinwe was a lovely person, why would anyone feel the need to do this? its so wrong..."
It was revealed that Chinwe went missing after she was dismissed from her job with no reason. "I feel part of this is because of the kidnappers, and part because she lost her job. She was hurt and confused. I hope she is safe" said Chinwe's friend.

  These are the three events that have happened so far, but how are we to know that they are the last? The apartheid has gone to far this time, and we can't stop what the kidnappers feel is so natural to do.

What feedback did I get in my tutorial?

  When I had my tutorial with Mr. Michie he told me that my work was very good and I knew how to develop my point and my work showed a strong point of view. We discussed my knowledge of being able to describe a image, use a good range of vocabulary and how I had control the whole way through my piece. I also understand that I can write a sustainable piece of work but this is something that could be further improved.
   Therefore, we also discussed what I could develop in my work. This is so that next time I write, I can make sure that it is a quality piece of work that is sustainable throughout if it is a long piece of writing, meaning it's strong throughout the piece with no parts becoming 'droopy' and unclear. My main target was to proof read every piece of work part by part and to also keep note on my sentence structure. Then, to develop this target further, I was told to use simple sentences for shape, such as "I went to the shop and brought some sweets" or to use short sentences such as "stop." for effect on the reader. I also need to make sure that I close up my points before I start to discuss something new, explore simple sentences and make sure I have a variety of lengths of sentences. This is so that some of them are long flowing sentences, others are short and then others are of a simple kind. Instead of just doing this in the poem I have written below, I could also bring the effect into my prose writing which I will further develop and re-write soon.
   We then ended by saying about my choice of vocabulary. Whereas some of the vocabulary I choose to use has more of an emotional feeling, others I use sometimes aren't as appropriate and I should proof read my work so that I notice things like that. This means I have a chance to strengthen my vocabulary as well as my work piece.

My Final Target:
Vary sentence length in traditional writing and proof read, leave things for a few days and then come back to it and then make sure someone else reads my work.

Dashwood

Broken beautiful bachelor, as dashing as you may be
you left and hurt the bones within my body.
Lies told and promises made.
Music and tears over you were nothing 

while i sit and think for revenge.
Tunes,notes,books read happiness for you
but your pleasure is my pain.
Why did you withdraw yourself and your love?

Coward. You wrote me music yet no letters,
stay, my bitter love because none were expected.
I play and remember each word and tune 
that you spoke and heard, yet this time

My voice was totally suspended with tears.
Over it, done. Evil within you has been spotted
in my blood red eyes. Silence within me
broken out. Nothing given nor expected.

Over it, done. Your dead to me.

My Object.

Millions of memories inside something so little. Colourful, reliable and alternative. Inside the one thing most important to me, becomes another world entirely. Inside, contains hours of listening, hours of remembering. Some old, some new. A changing screen creates so many different and alternate backgrounds, and can also broadcast a million sounds into my ears at one time. The outside of the item can be changed by the easiest move, making it unbreakable, yet more stylish or practical. Most people claim that they could not live without this item, and I believe I am the same. I believe that it’s incredible how something so little can mean so much to someone in life. The little earphones that plug into the bottom of the machine that brings life to itself. Everywhere. This machine comes everywhere with me like it’s a part of my body. Connected to me by the ears, never to be lost or let go of. The machine is unique and individual to every human being. Nobody has any one the same, yet so much criticism can surround the item, if another doesn’t agree. Inside is your own personal library that no one can alter because it’s unique to yourself and only yourself. Easy to change, yet most don’t want to touch the memories created by each little space used up. Each within a time based normally around three small minutes, sometimes longer, and sometimes shorter. Inside, different voices, tones, tunes and words surround a base created around something that you like, something to fit in with the market that is known by everyone, each trying to break out and become something of themselves. This item, so significant to me could mean absolutely nothing to the next person. But is significant to me because of the memories, times and places it holds within itself or has been too.